Teddy Bear's Revenge!
**snores**zzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzz
**snorts** ...Huh....wah....no mommy......I don wanna go ta szool toblay....**nods back off**
Submitted by M1A2Tanker
*Hears a noise within the empty corridors. Investigating further he finds the fine pilot Tanker sleeping like a baby while the rest of his squad is out there without their fearless leader today. Mac smiles, squints slightly and the bed upends itself and a thrashing Tanker tumbles to the floor*
Hey Tank, your alarm was going off. Your squad is already gone to the melee and here you are snoozing and dreaming of those great school days? Bah!
Submitted by Mac
WOODYS ROUND UP DAD DADA DA........*aslan is cuaght wathcing and dancing to Toy Story II* Ooops I better Go Fly!!
Submitted by Aslan
**Tank thrashes about under the upended bed** Huh...what....I'M GOING TO PUT THE NO GOOD LOW DOWN NO ACCOUNT ON PERMANENT KITCHEN DUTY IF I GET MY HANDS ON....**Tank finally gets the bed off him, to discover Mac standing before him with a smirk on his face**
"Ah...." Tank looks at Mac dumbly.
"What was that about kitchen duty? I seem to recall that we're in a war, yet you are derelict in your duties.....hmmm...." Mac strokes his chin thoughtfully.
"Oh, that was just my ahh...." Tank looks around frantically, sees Aslan behind Mac smirking. Tank grabs Aslan and holds him before Mac. "it was my teddy bear. Honestly...sir."
Aslan's eyes went wide at the prospect of being treated as a teddy bear.
"Oooh, ok. Best get a move on then SL." Tank preps to leave, when Mac stops him.
"Could I borrow your teddy bear for awhile? I've been having trouble sleeping." Mac looked at Tank earnestly.
Smiling, Tank says, "Sure thing Admiral." Tank hands the still frozen in fear Aslan over, and Mac squeezes him tightly as he leaves.
Yub Yub Commander
Submitted by M1A2Tanker
*taking the OVERLY heavy teddy bear back to his office Mac can't get over the fact that it squirms so much and seems to be repeating "yub yub" over and over. Before even getting back to his office Mac sees a garbage chute and decides neither he nor Tanker need this thing around and tosses a now screaming Aslan down the tube. After returning to his Office Mac fills out the necessary paperwork and signs it. Smiling to himself Mac takes a copy to the head cook and then places a copy on Tankers pillow which is still on the floor. Smiling at the header on the paper titled "kitchen assistant" Mac is assured all will be well. Then Mac laughs and walks out after remembering the fine print stating "the kitchen assitant will not be allowed to help prep food in any way except to peel potatoes. All other duties will include but will not be limited to: Trash duty, grease cleanup, table cleaner, and all around slave to any and all kitchen help"* There, all my garbage seems to be taken care of tonight.
Oh one part of the story needs editing, I forgot to add that tankers teddy bear really needed bathing or something and since it smelled like trash I thought it belonged there....something like that. :P
Submitted by Mac
Aslan uses his ninja skills and removes himself from the bag that Mac placed him when he threw the ewok down the trash chute!!This in the mind of the ewok was a definite Dis that needed revenge even though it was in fun.
MuhahahahahahYUB!First thing the ewok did was to slip into his quarters and access his Eng Screen and Use his listening device and heard Mac and tank Yucking it up!! Grrrr! about their treatment of the FAD, Hmmmm ok this is going to be fun the ewok smirked to himself time to put the heat on.The Ewok patches throught to the stations climate controll and Door lockings devices.Lets see how theses two enjoy some Heat! The Ewok turns the heat up to 115 F* and subsequently locks all doors, shafts, and windows, in Tanks quarters where Mac and Tank are laughing it up. Next he turns on the Camera for the viewing pleasure of Aslans Bar and grill Patrons on the Big Screen.Then he Pipes in the air ducts Essence of Wookie Farts!! From the Sound system he patches in Blaring music of Accordian Playing Ewoks Singing "Hot town summer in the City". Mac and Tank Start to Really Sweat and curse and pound the doors, but no one can hear them over the Music and the Comlink is Scrambled by you know who!! Its starts to get soo hot and Soo Smelly that Tank Starts to cry and Mac starts to strip down to his undies (What!!! those look like girls undies??)the Crowd at the Bar and grill are Rolling on the floor!! When suddenly as it Seems that it can't get any hotter and Smellier it all Stops and the automatic Sprinklers come on but the Slick engineer ewok patches in some pink dye in the water solution which covers the two and plays the music "Pretty in Pink!!" the Ewok than Opens all doors and vents and jumps in his TF and Barrels out of the Flight bay Leaving Rep in Charge!!!!!..............
Submitted by Aslan
Using one of his new Force Powers, Tank uses Force Protection, surrounding him in protective energy. The pink spray harmlessly covers the energy, still looking like he was covered from head to toe, but not actually touching him.
He pulls out his lightsaber and slashes the door open. Mac was about to protest when Tank said, "I'll fix it later! We have to get that slippery Ewok!" Tank bounds out the door to see crewmen lying on the floor laughing. He expands the protective energy and the pink water is tossed to everything, except him.
Tank and Mac, after Mac recovers enough of his sanity to dress himself, rush to the flight deck, where Rep waits.
"Ya just missed him fellas, and I have no idea where he went." Rep said, with a grin.
Tank thinks briefly, then rushes to a comm console. He quickly punches in some codes, then backs away as his little program goes to work.
"What did you just do?" Mac asked.
"I activated a little tracker program I had installed in his TF."
"But that's nothing, we ordered the trackers on all Imperial type craft, so as to speed recovery." Rep stated matter-of-factly.
"Yes, but on his I added something extra, for just this occasion." Tank smiled, then said, "When activated, it tells us where he went, when he got there, and all the usual stuff, plus it fills the cockpit with the smell of burning Pee Tree. This will infuriate him, and make him attack anyone he sees first. Now all we have to do is go catch him and wring his little furry neck."
Mac smiled. Rep just shook his head as Tank jumped into his custom Xwing (checking it for tampering, as he felt the Ewok would do) and launched out the bay in pursuit.
Meanwhile....
"GET HIM OFFA ME!!!" OBS Obiwan lurched around in the shuttle as a maniac ewok sunk his teeth into his arm, pounding his little furry fists and feet all over Obiwan.
Eyes red from the smell of his beloved pee tree burning, Aslan growls, "YUB YUB!! DIE! HURT PEE TREE!!!"
Obiwan finally manages to remove the vicious ewok, but Aslan whistles, and from the ventilation shafts of the shuttle, out comes....
THE NINJA EWOKS!!!
Recently liberated from captivity, the Ninja Ewoks were Aslan's first, last, and best line of defence for his Pee Trees.
"Hiiiiya YUB!" Four Ninja Ewoks, all swaddled in black clothes and face masks, surround Obiwan.
Obiwan's eyes go wide as they attack. Never in his life could he have imagined such a horrible fate!
The Ewoks pull Obi's pants down, tie his feet and arms up with his belt, and gives him a wedgie faster than the Dark side master knew what hit him.
Submitted by M1A2Tanker
Obiwan ground his teeth together as the 4 black clad figures and the 5th Ewok, the familiar one, stood over him. Perhaps it was a nervous reaction, but Obiwan always said rediculous things when in difficult circumstances. This was no exception. Obiwan blurted out,"Was it something I said?" The PeeTree enraged Ewok only squinted his eyes and growled. Still not satisfied, the Ewok Aslan began to tear apart the shuttle ripping open control panels, storage bins, even hanging flight suits in his attempt to find the non-existent burning Pee tree.
Obiwan considers his situation. He thinks to himself. "Well, I can't really com into my ship for help can I. That would certainly bring this little adventure to a close, but then my troops would find me here pants'd and with a wedgie. "Not acceptable" he said to himself outloud.
Just then an idea reared it's head in Obi's mind. He touched his chin to his lapel commlink to the SSD Sidious. "This is High Admiral Obiwan, patch me through to strategic defence."
"Aye Aye, Right away Sir."
"Commander Kells here." Came the reply once the patch was put through. "Commander," Said Obiwan. "I need the ship commlink to a one "Admiral Mac of the Rebel forces."
"Sir?"
"You heard me Commander, and you'd better give me M1A2Tankers as well, same squadron. And patch me through immediately. "Aye aye."
Obiwan didnt have to wait long. When he heard the signal established beep in his ear he said in a somewhat dry tone. "Admiral Mac, it seems we have a situation here. And if my senses are correct, this may have something to do with you."
"I can't imagine what you're talking about Admiral" Mac says with only the slightest snicker. Tanker hears this as Obi was patched through to both of them simultaniously. "Would this have anything to do with a rabid Ewok Obiwan?"
"It would indeed. As well as several of your *ahem* Ninja ewok's as well." Both Mac and Tanker could not contain their laughter imaginging the carnage. Obi continued, "I don't know what sort of micky you slipped this Ewok here but he's outa control man." "Here I am on my way to a private vacation and I see a VERY familiar Tie figher.. if you catch my drift... So, I definately allow it to board me, knowing that I am going to slice to pieces whatever steps out of it. Well,.. things didnt exactly go as planned.. and if you don't mind I'd like you to vector in on my signal and *cough* take care of this matter."
Obi could hear the histerics from the other end. "Oh and guys.. lets keep this on the QT if possible. IF word of this gets out there will be hell to pay." There was no response from the other end,.. just laughter as Mac and Tank clicked off from their end.
The Admiral's attention was immediately brought back to the situation at hand when he noticed the Ewok Aslan shaking his rear end. A sure sign he was about to pee. The Ewok looked at the downed Imperial Admiral. "No.... NO.....No...."
OK..as per the "Teddy bear's revenge" post here...I've been in a shuttle for days now with 4 ninja Ewoks and one certain rabid Ewok Aslan.
From my journal: "It's day 3.. water running low..."
Tank.. it may be up to you to come "relieve" me (no pun intended) of this little dilemma I am in. You all just wait till I get outa this one!! Heads will rolll!!! (Just as soon as I can get my pants back...)
Submitted by OBS_HA_Obiwan
M1A2Tanker contiues to fly his Xwing towards the tracer signal on Aslan's TF. Thoughts of what to do and how many different ways he can strangle the ewok dance in his head when his comlink beeps at him. He activates it.
"Hey Tank, I have something to ask of you," It was Gunslinger, friend and squadmate in Hawk.
"What's that Guns?"
"I think this crew needs some lightening up. Got any ideas as to who will be first? I'm thinking the one in the Dark Helmut hehe."
"Hmmm....sounds like a plan. You know, I'm on my way to capture Aslan....what if we get him, bag him, then toss him in with Vader. I hear he just received a new cologne for his 20th. Don't ask me how he applies it, I guess he splashes his helmet or something. Anyways, I kinda tampered with it though..." Tank smiled mischeviously.
"What did you do????" Guns reply was suspicious.
"Instead of Essance of Old Spice....it's now Essance of Burning Pee Tree hehe" Tank starts to close in on Obiwans shuttle.
"Hmmm....that does sound REALLY REALLY good. What else should we do?" Gunslinger goes silent for a bit, then says, "Let's get Azis in on this. For some reason Azis gets to go to Vaders quarters at the exact same time as all this happens, and they...well....somehow they both get locked in with Aslan. hehehe MUAHAHAHA!!"
"Pipe down on the evil laugh, it sounds weak anyways."
"Grrrrrr."
"And anyways, that little martian recently built a lightsaber. Wait a moment....I'll get back to you, I'm approaching Obiwan's shuttle."
"Ok man, gimme a hollar. Gunslinger out."
Tank draws to a stop directly underneath the shuttle. Amazingly, he can see the shuttle pitch about a little as the battle with the Ninja Ewoks begins. Tank seals his flight suit, activates his personal Magcon field, and releases the transparisteel hatch. The cold instantly passed through the magcon field, but he brushed that aside for the moment. Getting his feet under him, he launches himself at Aslan's TIE. In moments he catches one of the laser cannons in the chin and stops himself. With the TIE in the way he couldn't get in. He tapped into the Force and released the TIE from the docking port for a brief moment, while still maintaining the atmosphere. Sweat trickling down from the excertion, he quickly launches himself into the docking port, and reattaching the TIE. With the atmosphere once again secure, Tank breathes in a cleansing breath, then slips into the airlock.
He exits the airlock just as Aslan is about to do his business on Obiwan. Tank quickly reaches out and pinches a central nerve on Aslan's neck, and the Ewok collapses in a heap. The Ninjas, noticing Tank for the first time, jump back in surprise, then, with growls, they launch themselves at him. Pulling out a Bantha steak, Tank tosses it before the Ewoks and jumps back. The Ewoks hadn't been fed in awhile....and they immediatly changed course in midflight.
Unfortuantly, the steak lands on Obiwan, and the rabid ewoks devour the steak....and a couple of chunks of Obiwans uniform and flesh are missing as well. Luckily though, the steak was laced with a seditive, and the Ninjas passed out instantly.
Tank quickly pulls out his camera and takes a picture of a beaten Obiwan surrounded by 5 knocked out Ewoks.
"Ok Admiral, I'm going to fly the shuttle back to RBL HQ. We'll get you fixed up there and send you back on your way."
Obi just mumbled in pain then passed out himself. Tank quickly tosses Aslan into a duffelbag and secures it. Then, after tractoring his ship, he sends the shuttle back to RBL. Once there, medics rush out and recover Obiwan and send him to be dunked in bacta. As they are doing that Tank takes the duffle-bound Aslan to Vaders quarters where Azis and V are talking before he ships out. Tank walks in and sets the bag down and they engage in some idle chit chat while Vader polishes up his armor. He splashes on the "cologne" and Tank mentions something he needed to check quick-like. Vader and Azis just say ok as he leaves, in thier minds, for just a brief moment. As soon as the door closes Tank locks it and activates a forcefield along the outside of the door and wall, as well as the ventalation shafts. Air could get in, but nothing could get out. Then he slowly saunters away to a security viewing station to watch the fun.
Submitted by M1A2Tanker
But than suddenly as Tank rounded the corner the Ninja ewoks were on him!! Before he could think the brave agile little warriors had him relieved of his weapons and captured in a Barreillien multi-phase netting device that cuases its victim to go unconcious. Tanker crumpled to the floor as the blue and yellow lights of the trap dance about his body in a errie fashion. Quickly the 4 ninjas dragged their victim off into the shadows leaving only Tankers combadge on the floor........
Submitted by Aslan
To be continued
