Christmas Parodies!

[M1A2Tanker]

Didn't want to loose these...they were too funny lol.

And here is where it started....

A strange melody is heard on the intercom

It makes people stop and scratch their heads in wonder...

Is this heaven?

Are those angels?

Haven't I heard that cat screech before?

**record scratch sound**

Cat screech?

That's right ladies and gentlemen, coming soon to an intercom/email/ZF/who knows what else near you, will come the most rampant and lovely Christmas melodies you'll ever hear!

Down Panda! **whip cracks**

Anyways, be on the lookout for some wonderful Christmas melodies to be posted on the commlink.

You don't want to miss them.

Crewmembers and pilots both stopped in mid-stride as Christmas music started to play.

They didn't stop because they were overcome with joy from the music. Nor because they realized that they would have to find gifts all of a sudden.

No...it was the lyrics of the music itself.

Jingle Bells/Jawa Bells)
"Jawa Bells Jawa Bells, Jawas all the way
Oh what fun it is to fly in a one engine hatchless Z95 HEY!
Jawa bells Jawa bells, slaying Jawas all the way
Oh what fun it is to fly in a one engine hatchless Z95

Dashing into rocks
In that one engine Z95
Through asteroid fields we go
Screaming all the way (AAAAAAHHHHHH!)
Bells on consoles scream
Making lasers bright
What the heck am I doing riding this thing
This crazy one engine Z95!

BAAAHH!!
Jawa Bells Jawa Bells, Jawas all the way
Oh what horror it is to fly in a one engine hatchless Z95 HEY!
Jawa bells Jawa bells, slaying Jawas all the way
Oh what horror it is to fly in a one engine hatchless Z95"

And the insanity will continue...one week at a time.

(Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire/Ewoks Roasting on an Open Fire)
Ewoks roasting on an open fire.......
Rampant Panda nippin at your nose
Yuletide warbles being sung by the fryer
And poges dressed up like GI Joes.....
Everybody knows...
An ewok and a missileboat....
Help to make the huntin season bright.
Tiny bots, with their eye a low glow..
Will find it hard to find the battery tonight....
They know that Vader's on his way
He's loaded lots of bombs and rooties on his sleigh
And every single pilot is going to spy
To see if Jawas really know how to fly
And so...I'm offering this simple plane
For bids on 1 to 92
Although it’s been screwed up many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you

(Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer/Andolph the Amber Antilope)
Andolph the amber anitlope
Had a very shiny ***
And if you ever saw it
You would say it shines like brass
(on a railing)
All of the other anilope
Used to laugh and call him names
(like flaming can)
But poor Andolph ripped them all
With a giant golden flame (whoosh)

Then one foggy xmas eve
Santa came by to say
Andolph with that *** so bright
Won't you ride shotgun for me tonight?

then how the antilope loathed him
And they shouted out in plea
Andolph the amber antilope
Hope you hit the big pee tree!

(Winter Wonderland/Ewoks Underwear)
Engines ring, are ya listenin
In the hangar, fighters glisten
Oh what a sight
Feelin warm and fuzzy tonight
Walking round in ewoks underwear

Through the trees lasers hissen
On the ground jedi missen
A feast way up high
Ohh why lord ohhh why
Walking round in ewoks underwear

Tied to a steak ready to perspire
Capt Solo is tossed on the fire
Tons of meat there shall be
Better serve Chewie for three
Walkin round in ewoks underwear
Walkin round in ewoks underwear!!!

(O' Christmas Tree/Pee Tree)
O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
O how your leaves are so drippity.
Your boughs aren’t green, nor are they brown.
They make the bugs instantly drown.
O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
How disturbing are your branches.

O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
Why do you exist at all?
For often times, you’re a target for pranks.
You’ve been attacked so much, you wouldn’t make a plank.
O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
Why do you exist at all?

O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
Your boughs can teach a lesson.
Your constant stench and old slime…
Makes us hope that you’ll become a crime.
O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
Your boughs can teach a lesson.

Wassaling (Now Wondering)
Here we come a-wandering
Among the X-wings!
Here we go a bouncing
Into wings, did you see?

Drunken Wookie Chorus (translation)…

Look at those goofy fools…
And here comes Nurse C too!
Oh God bless you and send you to a safer place
And God send you to a safer place

We are not safe
Around here at all!
Not with Nurse C
Roaming around in the halls!

Chorus again.

We have gotten shots
All over the place, even our heads!
We really don’t want anymore
But it’s that time once again!

Chorus

Dear lord save us from her
And save the Ninjas too.
The experiments she pulls on them
Let’s us know, we’re the next to go!

Chorus

(Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer)
Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and grandpa we believe.
She'd been drinking too much eggnog,
and we begged her not to go.
But she forgot her medication, and she
staggered out the door into the snow.
When we found her Christmas morning,
at the scene of the attack,
she had hoof-prints on her forehead,
and incriminating Claus marks on her back.

Now we're all so proud of grandpa,
He's been taking this so well.
See him in there watching football,
drinking root beer and
playing cards with Cousin Mel.
It's not Christmas without Grandma,
All the family's dressed in black
and we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts,
or send them back?
Send them back!!

Now the goose is on the table
and the pudding made of fig
and the blue and silver candles
that would just have matched
the hair on grandma's wig.
I've warned all my
friends and neighbors
better watch out for yourselves,
they should never give a license
to a man who drives a sleigh
and plays with elves.


Happy Holidays Everyone

That's not altered....

THIS is altered. ^_^

(Nurse C Got Run Over by a Freighter)
Nurse C got run over by a freighter.
Walking home across the hanger on Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as miracles.
But as for me and Azis we believe.
We’d been giving her too much eggnog.
And we told her it was time to go.
We had to hide her medication,
and we hoped she wouldn’t step on our toes.
When we found her Christmas morning,
At the scene of the mishap,
She had keel marks in her forehead,
And interesting birthmarks on her back.

Now we’re all so proud of Az’is.
He’s been taking this so well.
See him in there dancing silly,
Drinking root beer and
playing catch the Ninja with Preacher Aslan.
It’s not Christmas without Nurse C.
Which was the whole point of the attack.
But we can’t help but wonder:
Dare we open up her gifts,
Or mail’em to TFA?
Mail’em to TFA!!

Now the banthas’ on the table
And the pudding made of spice
And the red and blue candles
That would just have matched
The color in Nurse C’s lab mice.
We’ve been celebrating for many days now
Even our neighbors have noticed our joy,
When we did the Az’is dance
And tipped Aslan like a cow!

[Acehigh]

Ahhhhh these are classics hehe LMAO

[Wraith]

And with that slight pause in the music the crew stumbles as if drunk, finally released from the screaching and horrendous wailing that came from the comms. But whats this??

**music slowly starts up, picking up speed as it gains in volume until it blasts forth once again unhinderd**

Once again the crew of the RBL Station are locked in mortal fear unable to move, unable to summon for help.....

(Away in a Manger/Away in a Hanger)
Away in a Hanger, no ejection seat for a chair
The little blue Ewok lay down his fake hair (piece)
The pilots in their stupor looked up from where they lay
The little blue Ewok asleep during the day.

The Jawas are wailing the Ewoks awakes
But the blue Ewoks complaining he makes
We kind of like you blue Ewok, looking down from your office so high
Just dont' make us wonder why

Stay away blue ewok we ask if we may
Far away forever and stay that way
You scare all the pilots under their beds
With your big blue afro hair.

[The Shadow]

The Shadow hears this strange music blaring from the comms. With a slight smirk, the mysterious being patches into the comms, and adds a song to terrorize them all!

(Deck the Halls/Search the Halls)
Search the halls with alarms blaring
Cra-wa-wa-wa-wa, ah-wa-wa-wa
Tis The Shadow who is lairing
Cra-wa-wa-wa-wa, ah-wa-wa-wa
Don we now our armored apparel
Cra-wa-wa, ah-wa-wa, wa-wa-wa
Armed we are for our peril
Cra-wa-wa-wa-wa, ah-wa-wa-wa

See the sneaky Shadow around us?
Cra-wa-wa-wa-wa, ah-wa-wa-wa
It lies in wait and tries to bore us...
Cra-wa-wa-wa-wa, ah-wa-wa-wa
It follows thee in all weather
Cra-wa-wa, ah-wa-wa, wa-wa-wa
All the while it's The Shadows pleasure.
Cra-wa-wa-wa-wa, ah-wa-wa-wa

Fast it be, The Shadow has every pass
Cra-wa-wa-wa-wa, ah-wa-wa-wa
It sends messages to all the brass
Cra-wa-wa-wa-wa, ah-wa-wa-wa
"As you know, The Shadow has fun..."
Cra-wa-wa, ah-wa-wa, wa-wa-wa
"But There can be only one!"
Cra-wa-wa-wa-wa, ah-wa-wa-wa

[NEE]

Hey!!! I'm the music messer-upper here! I'll prove it too! Who let that shadow person in here anyways??

(Here Comes Santa Claus/Here Comes Palpatine)
Here comes Palpatine!
Here comes Palpatine!
Right down Palpatine Lane!
Vader and Thrawn and all the stormtroopers
are supporting his reign!
Comms are ringing, blasters singing;
Oh his grip is tight!
Stick your hands up and say your prayers,
'Cause Palapatin is comin tonight!

Here comes Palpatine!
Here comes Palpatine!
Right down Palpatine Lane!
He's got a list filled with dissidents
for it's that time again!
Hear the trooper armor clatter,
What a frightening sight!
Get under the bed, hide your head,
'Cause Palpatine is comin tonight!

[M1A2Tanker]

Hehehe...these are good.

Oh just chill NEE...The Shadow is harmless....I think.

At least noone's made fun of me in these things...although now that I said something I'm probably going to be a target for one lol.

[NEE]

oooooh. Soooo tempting Tank. ;D

But I won't, this time hehehe

(All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth/All I Want For Christmas Is A Hyperdrive)

Everybody stops to laugh at me.
That engine is shot as you can see.
I do know just who to blame for this catastrophe.
But my one wish on Christmas Eve is as plain as it can be!

All I want for Christmas is a hyperdrive,
a hyperdrive, see my hyperdrive.
Lord, if I could only have a hyperdrive,
then I could leave Tatooine!

It's been so long since I could fly, I've learned to grow a fern!
But oh lord, how sad my landlord'll be,
when he can't claim me on his tax return! (shhhhh!)

All I want period is a hyperdrive,
a hyperdrive, lookit my hyperdrive!
God if I could only have a hyperdrive,
then I could get the heck offa Tatooine!

[M1A2Tanker]

hehehe, I think the Christmas parody bug has bitten me as well.

(Frosty the Snow Man/Wraith the Distorter)
Wraith the Distorter, was a news reportin soul,
with a history of trouble and a long nose
and two shifty eyes (possibly coal).
Wraith the Distorter is a station tale, they say,
He was mad from (who knows?) but the Ewoks know
how he came to RBL one day.

There must have been a bounty on
that balding head of his.
For when OBS placed it on his head
he danced like Az'is!

O, Wraith the Distorter like to hide in the vents,
And the Ewoks say he could hear all
in time for a 10 o'clock event!
Slippin and slidin
crashin and bangin
Lookit Wraith go...
pushin and shovin
lining them up
Away the Ewok goes!

Wraith the Distorter knew Aslan hurt that day.
So he said, "And the winner is,
the Saiyan who lives just down the hallway."

Down to his closet with a mop stick in his hand,
Making stuff up there,
he's really not there,
when he says, "I love this trash can!"

He led his squad over a town and they buzzed an Air Cop.
And he sped off when they heard the guy holler, "You c***!!"

For Wraith the Distorter had to hurry on his way.
And as he waved goodbye he said,
"Don't you cry, just bill it to TFA!"
Screeching and typing
clanking and cursing
Lookit Wraith go!
Kicking and mumbling
Aiming and blasting
Off to RBL he goes!

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[Wraith]

Ohhhhh.. this calls for drastic measures


(Frosty the Snowman/Tanker the Admiral)
Tanker the Admiral was as rusty as could be,
With plastic treads, feet for an engine
And a cannon made from pipe cleaners.
Tanker the Admiral is pretty hairy, they say,
He was made of lint but pilots
Know how he came to rust one day.
There must have been some V-tea in those
Rooties they were drinking.
For when they thought about it really hard
They couldn’t tell if he had moved.
O, Tanker the Admiral
Was as rusty as could be,
And the pilots mumble he couldn’t start
And some pieces fell off somewhere.
Clanckity clank clank,
Clanckity clank clank,
Look at Tanker go.
Clanckity clank clank,
Clanckity clank clank,
Falling apart real slow.

Tanker the Admiral knew
The real Admirals were gonna catch on one day,
So he said, "Let's go and
We’ll run something over
If I can ever get started."
Up through the Station,
With a Rootie in his hand,
Squealing here and there all
Around the hanger bellowing,
Catch me if you can with your WD-40.
He led them down the halls of RBL
Right to the Admiral Offices.
And he almost stalled forever when
He heard them holler, "Stop!"
For Tanker the Admiral
Had to scurry on his way,
But he waved drunkenly saying,
"You’d better cry,
I'll be rusting again someday."
Clanckity clank clank,
Clanckity clank clank,
Look at Tanker go.
Clanckity clank clank,
Clanckity clank clank,
Shedding rust like snow.


;D

[M1A2Tanker]

ooooooooooooh!!! :o

I'd get you for that Wraith...except I had a few too many eggnogs, and I'm rusted in place again. :-X

Mark my words...as soon as some breaker fluid has been used...I'll be coming for ya Wraith ;D