12-22-2002, 03:07 PM
Didn't want to loose these...they were too funny lol.
And here is where it started....
A strange melody is heard on the intercom
It makes people stop and scratch their heads in wonder...
Is this heaven?
Are those angels?
Haven't I heard that cat screech before?
**record scratch sound**
Cat screech?
That's right ladies and gentlemen, coming soon to an intercom/email/ZF/who knows what else near you, will come the most rampant and lovely Christmas melodies you'll ever hear!
Down Panda! **whip cracks**
Anyways, be on the lookout for some wonderful Christmas melodies to be posted on the commlink.
You don't want to miss them.
Crewmembers and pilots both stopped in mid-stride as Christmas music started to play.
They didn't stop because they were overcome with joy from the music. Nor because they realized that they would have to find gifts all of a sudden.
No...it was the lyrics of the music itself.
Jingle Bells/Jawa Bells)
"Jawa Bells Jawa Bells, Jawas all the way
Oh what fun it is to fly in a one engine hatchless Z95 HEY!
Jawa bells Jawa bells, slaying Jawas all the way
Oh what fun it is to fly in a one engine hatchless Z95
Dashing into rocks
In that one engine Z95
Through asteroid fields we go
Screaming all the way (AAAAAAHHHHHH!)
Bells on consoles scream
Making lasers bright
What the heck am I doing riding this thing
This crazy one engine Z95!
BAAAHH!!
Jawa Bells Jawa Bells, Jawas all the way
Oh what horror it is to fly in a one engine hatchless Z95 HEY!
Jawa bells Jawa bells, slaying Jawas all the way
Oh what horror it is to fly in a one engine hatchless Z95"
And the insanity will continue...one week at a time.
(Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire/Ewoks Roasting on an Open Fire)
Ewoks roasting on an open fire.......
Rampant Panda nippin at your nose
Yuletide warbles being sung by the fryer
And poges dressed up like GI Joes.....
Everybody knows...
An ewok and a missileboat....
Help to make the huntin season bright.
Tiny bots, with their eye a low glow..
Will find it hard to find the battery tonight....
They know that Vader's on his way
He's loaded lots of bombs and rooties on his sleigh
And every single pilot is going to spy
To see if Jawas really know how to fly
And so...I'm offering this simple plane
For bids on 1 to 92
Although it’s been screwed up many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you
(Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer/Andolph the Amber Antilope)
Andolph the amber anitlope
Had a very shiny ***
And if you ever saw it
You would say it shines like brass
(on a railing)
All of the other anilope
Used to laugh and call him names
(like flaming can)
But poor Andolph ripped them all
With a giant golden flame (whoosh)
Then one foggy xmas eve
Santa came by to say
Andolph with that *** so bright
Won't you ride shotgun for me tonight?
then how the antilope loathed him
And they shouted out in plea
Andolph the amber antilope
Hope you hit the big pee tree!
(Winter Wonderland/Ewoks Underwear)
Engines ring, are ya listenin
In the hangar, fighters glisten
Oh what a sight
Feelin warm and fuzzy tonight
Walking round in ewoks underwear
Through the trees lasers hissen
On the ground jedi missen
A feast way up high
Ohh why lord ohhh why
Walking round in ewoks underwear
Tied to a steak ready to perspire
Capt Solo is tossed on the fire
Tons of meat there shall be
Better serve Chewie for three
Walkin round in ewoks underwear
Walkin round in ewoks underwear!!!
(O' Christmas Tree/Pee Tree)
O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
O how your leaves are so drippity.
Your boughs aren’t green, nor are they brown.
They make the bugs instantly drown.
O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
How disturbing are your branches.
O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
Why do you exist at all?
For often times, you’re a target for pranks.
You’ve been attacked so much, you wouldn’t make a plank.
O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
Why do you exist at all?
O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
Your boughs can teach a lesson.
Your constant stench and old slime…
Makes us hope that you’ll become a crime.
O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
Your boughs can teach a lesson.
Wassaling (Now Wondering)
Here we come a-wandering
Among the X-wings!
Here we go a bouncing
Into wings, did you see?
Drunken Wookie Chorus (translation)…
Look at those goofy fools…
And here comes Nurse C too!
Oh God bless you and send you to a safer place
And God send you to a safer place
We are not safe
Around here at all!
Not with Nurse C
Roaming around in the halls!
Chorus again.
We have gotten shots
All over the place, even our heads!
We really don’t want anymore
But it’s that time once again!
Chorus
Dear lord save us from her
And save the Ninjas too.
The experiments she pulls on them
Let’s us know, we’re the next to go!
Chorus
(Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer)
Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and grandpa we believe.
She'd been drinking too much eggnog,
and we begged her not to go.
But she forgot her medication, and she
staggered out the door into the snow.
When we found her Christmas morning,
at the scene of the attack,
she had hoof-prints on her forehead,
and incriminating Claus marks on her back.
Now we're all so proud of grandpa,
He's been taking this so well.
See him in there watching football,
drinking root beer and
playing cards with Cousin Mel.
It's not Christmas without Grandma,
All the family's dressed in black
and we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts,
or send them back?
Send them back!!
Now the goose is on the table
and the pudding made of fig
and the blue and silver candles
that would just have matched
the hair on grandma's wig.
I've warned all my
friends and neighbors
better watch out for yourselves,
they should never give a license
to a man who drives a sleigh
and plays with elves.
Happy Holidays Everyone
That's not altered....
THIS is altered. ^_^
(Nurse C Got Run Over by a Freighter)
Nurse C got run over by a freighter.
Walking home across the hanger on Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as miracles.
But as for me and Azis we believe.
We’d been giving her too much eggnog.
And we told her it was time to go.
We had to hide her medication,
and we hoped she wouldn’t step on our toes.
When we found her Christmas morning,
At the scene of the mishap,
She had keel marks in her forehead,
And interesting birthmarks on her back.
Now we’re all so proud of Az’is.
He’s been taking this so well.
See him in there dancing silly,
Drinking root beer and
playing catch the Ninja with Preacher Aslan.
It’s not Christmas without Nurse C.
Which was the whole point of the attack.
But we can’t help but wonder:
Dare we open up her gifts,
Or mail’em to TFA?
Mail’em to TFA!!
Now the banthas’ on the table
And the pudding made of spice
And the red and blue candles
That would just have matched
The color in Nurse C’s lab mice.
We’ve been celebrating for many days now
Even our neighbors have noticed our joy,
When we did the Az’is dance
And tipped Aslan like a cow!
And here is where it started....
A strange melody is heard on the intercom
It makes people stop and scratch their heads in wonder...
Is this heaven?
Are those angels?
Haven't I heard that cat screech before?
**record scratch sound**
Cat screech?
That's right ladies and gentlemen, coming soon to an intercom/email/ZF/who knows what else near you, will come the most rampant and lovely Christmas melodies you'll ever hear!
Down Panda! **whip cracks**
Anyways, be on the lookout for some wonderful Christmas melodies to be posted on the commlink.
You don't want to miss them.
Crewmembers and pilots both stopped in mid-stride as Christmas music started to play.
They didn't stop because they were overcome with joy from the music. Nor because they realized that they would have to find gifts all of a sudden.
No...it was the lyrics of the music itself.
Jingle Bells/Jawa Bells)
"Jawa Bells Jawa Bells, Jawas all the way
Oh what fun it is to fly in a one engine hatchless Z95 HEY!
Jawa bells Jawa bells, slaying Jawas all the way
Oh what fun it is to fly in a one engine hatchless Z95
Dashing into rocks
In that one engine Z95
Through asteroid fields we go
Screaming all the way (AAAAAAHHHHHH!)
Bells on consoles scream
Making lasers bright
What the heck am I doing riding this thing
This crazy one engine Z95!
BAAAHH!!
Jawa Bells Jawa Bells, Jawas all the way
Oh what horror it is to fly in a one engine hatchless Z95 HEY!
Jawa bells Jawa bells, slaying Jawas all the way
Oh what horror it is to fly in a one engine hatchless Z95"
And the insanity will continue...one week at a time.
(Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire/Ewoks Roasting on an Open Fire)
Ewoks roasting on an open fire.......
Rampant Panda nippin at your nose
Yuletide warbles being sung by the fryer
And poges dressed up like GI Joes.....
Everybody knows...
An ewok and a missileboat....
Help to make the huntin season bright.
Tiny bots, with their eye a low glow..
Will find it hard to find the battery tonight....
They know that Vader's on his way
He's loaded lots of bombs and rooties on his sleigh
And every single pilot is going to spy
To see if Jawas really know how to fly
And so...I'm offering this simple plane
For bids on 1 to 92
Although it’s been screwed up many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you
(Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer/Andolph the Amber Antilope)
Andolph the amber anitlope
Had a very shiny ***
And if you ever saw it
You would say it shines like brass
(on a railing)
All of the other anilope
Used to laugh and call him names
(like flaming can)
But poor Andolph ripped them all
With a giant golden flame (whoosh)
Then one foggy xmas eve
Santa came by to say
Andolph with that *** so bright
Won't you ride shotgun for me tonight?
then how the antilope loathed him
And they shouted out in plea
Andolph the amber antilope
Hope you hit the big pee tree!
(Winter Wonderland/Ewoks Underwear)
Engines ring, are ya listenin
In the hangar, fighters glisten
Oh what a sight
Feelin warm and fuzzy tonight
Walking round in ewoks underwear
Through the trees lasers hissen
On the ground jedi missen
A feast way up high
Ohh why lord ohhh why
Walking round in ewoks underwear
Tied to a steak ready to perspire
Capt Solo is tossed on the fire
Tons of meat there shall be
Better serve Chewie for three
Walkin round in ewoks underwear
Walkin round in ewoks underwear!!!
(O' Christmas Tree/Pee Tree)
O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
O how your leaves are so drippity.
Your boughs aren’t green, nor are they brown.
They make the bugs instantly drown.
O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
How disturbing are your branches.
O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
Why do you exist at all?
For often times, you’re a target for pranks.
You’ve been attacked so much, you wouldn’t make a plank.
O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
Why do you exist at all?
O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
Your boughs can teach a lesson.
Your constant stench and old slime…
Makes us hope that you’ll become a crime.
O Pee Tree
O Pee Tree
Your boughs can teach a lesson.
Wassaling (Now Wondering)
Here we come a-wandering
Among the X-wings!
Here we go a bouncing
Into wings, did you see?
Drunken Wookie Chorus (translation)…
Look at those goofy fools…
And here comes Nurse C too!
Oh God bless you and send you to a safer place
And God send you to a safer place
We are not safe
Around here at all!
Not with Nurse C
Roaming around in the halls!
Chorus again.
We have gotten shots
All over the place, even our heads!
We really don’t want anymore
But it’s that time once again!
Chorus
Dear lord save us from her
And save the Ninjas too.
The experiments she pulls on them
Let’s us know, we’re the next to go!
Chorus
(Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer)
Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and grandpa we believe.
She'd been drinking too much eggnog,
and we begged her not to go.
But she forgot her medication, and she
staggered out the door into the snow.
When we found her Christmas morning,
at the scene of the attack,
she had hoof-prints on her forehead,
and incriminating Claus marks on her back.
Now we're all so proud of grandpa,
He's been taking this so well.
See him in there watching football,
drinking root beer and
playing cards with Cousin Mel.
It's not Christmas without Grandma,
All the family's dressed in black
and we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts,
or send them back?
Send them back!!
Now the goose is on the table
and the pudding made of fig
and the blue and silver candles
that would just have matched
the hair on grandma's wig.
I've warned all my
friends and neighbors
better watch out for yourselves,
they should never give a license
to a man who drives a sleigh
and plays with elves.
Happy Holidays Everyone
That's not altered....
THIS is altered. ^_^
(Nurse C Got Run Over by a Freighter)
Nurse C got run over by a freighter.
Walking home across the hanger on Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as miracles.
But as for me and Azis we believe.
We’d been giving her too much eggnog.
And we told her it was time to go.
We had to hide her medication,
and we hoped she wouldn’t step on our toes.
When we found her Christmas morning,
At the scene of the mishap,
She had keel marks in her forehead,
And interesting birthmarks on her back.
Now we’re all so proud of Az’is.
He’s been taking this so well.
See him in there dancing silly,
Drinking root beer and
playing catch the Ninja with Preacher Aslan.
It’s not Christmas without Nurse C.
Which was the whole point of the attack.
But we can’t help but wonder:
Dare we open up her gifts,
Or mail’em to TFA?
Mail’em to TFA!!
Now the banthas’ on the table
And the pudding made of spice
And the red and blue candles
That would just have matched
The color in Nurse C’s lab mice.
We’ve been celebrating for many days now
Even our neighbors have noticed our joy,
When we did the Az’is dance
And tipped Aslan like a cow!
~§~
Tanker (tangk'er)n. 1. A dusty, crusty, grease-covered, dirty, sweaty, bright eyed, fuzzy faced, haircut-needing, beer-drinking, underrated, over-worked, underpaid, oversexed, little s%#* who can take a Tank and do more battlefield damage in ten minutes than a grunt squad can do all day.
Tanker (tangk'er)n. 1. A dusty, crusty, grease-covered, dirty, sweaty, bright eyed, fuzzy faced, haircut-needing, beer-drinking, underrated, over-worked, underpaid, oversexed, little s%#* who can take a Tank and do more battlefield damage in ten minutes than a grunt squad can do all day.